If You Can’t Beat ’Em, Buy ’Em Shirt

For the rivalry fan who believes pettiness should be preserved in cotton.
This shirt celebrates the funniest possible football business headline: when beating the birds got too hard, someone apparently decided it was time to start shopping. Featuring a bruising bird mascot, a pan full of “West Coast gold,” and one very stressed-out prospector realizing the claim may already be taken.
No official logos. No official teams. Just pure rivalry chaos, questionable ownership optics, and the beautiful reminder:
Some rivals you just own.
Perfect for tailgates, game day, trash talk, and making one fan base explain why they’re suddenly interested in bird watching.

The 100% cotton unisex classic tee will help you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits. Plus, it's extra trendy now!

• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Disclaimers: 
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.